An Open Letter to Potential Donors

MUST READ TO SAVE A LIFE! If you know anyone who might donate, please forward this on. Forwarding this to your family, friends, work, school, congregation, or any other communities you belong to would be most gratefully appreciated.

Dear (family, friends, coworkers, neighbors, church members, people considering donating) Social Media Friends,

First I want to apologize for this letter being so long. But trust me I think you will agree it was worth it. 

I am writing to you about my wife's (Debra Fette) current health Crisis. She has severe Stage 5, End Stage Renal Failure & is in desperate need of a Kidney Transplant. We have been actively looking for a Kidney Donor. I'm making a desperate plea in the hopes that a stranger will save her life, to let you know about her current health challenge, and how you can help. I'm hoping & praying for a miracle to save her life. This is NOT an easy letter for me to write, but I know that without sending this, someone who might be interested in helping won't have that opportunity or know she needs help. She inherited a genetic kidney disease which is rapidly squelching her life. Since Kidney failure has no treatment or cure, she only has two options: (1) get a kidney transplant, or (2) spend the rest of her life on debilitating dialysis. She's on Home Hemodialysis 5 days a week for 3 hours each time to survive. She's very weak & tired. Being on dialysis is physically and emotionally draining. Her health has deteriorated after almost 3 years of daily kidney dialysis so much that her immune system has been compromised. She's always sick with one thing right after another. In & out of E.R.'s & hospitalized for a week or more at a time with the Flu, dehydration, fevers, stomach problems etc.

While transplant is the superior quality-of-life choice, it can be the most challenging with 83,000 people waiting ahead of her on the national kidney transplant list. She truly strives to be a wonderful person. She's only 48 years old, disabled Nurse, Wife, Mother, Grandmother & a good friend. She's very generous, loving & kind. She would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. It upsets me & breaks my heart that she can't even play with my twin boys who are only 10 & don't really understand her disease. She desperately wants to return to work as a nurse and be able to play with her boys & be able to take them out for a day.

You see, 10 years ago she was diagnosed with having Chronic Kidney Disease. There are 5 stages of Kidney Failure. She's in the end stages, stage 5 also known as ESRD. For 11 years, she has been able to maintain her kidney functions and performance levels with combinations of different treatments & prescriptions. From the beginning, she knew these treatments were only that, to maintain what she has. She's had to survive on Dialysis for over 2 years now. We have been searching for that special person with extraordinary altruism. We have been looking for a donor since 2013, but none of the offers -- coming from close friends and family -- had been the right fit. No one in the family is a match for a transplant. As much as our family members would like to, they are unable to donate a kidney due to being tested & not being a match because of different blood types or other health issues that disqualify them. Many times, immediate family members are often the first choice for someone who is in need of a transplant, but due to genetic issues, that cannot always be the answer, as in her case. So she is out of options for a donor where my family is concerned. Actually, as long as ANY person is in good overall health and has a matching blood type (I'm A Positive, but O types is universal for any blood type!) they could be a donor candidate! That is why we're reaching out, and trying to spread the word. It's has really been a struggle finding caring souls to help us get the word out. PLEASE step up & agree to be tested. You just might be a match & save her life.

She suffers from End-stage renal disease (ESRD) which is the most feared consequence of kidney disease. ESRD results when kidney function has deteriorated and is no longer adequate to sustain life, and renal replacement therapy -- dialysis or transplantation -- becomes necessary to maintain life. Conditions that may lead to ESRD include hypertension, diabetes, and fluid in the kidneys. Just recently, she's had more tests done, and found that her Kidneys have actually got worse. As a matter of fact, her kidneys are currently functioning at less than 10%. Her kidneys are not able to do their job of filtering toxins out of her body & cleaning her blood. When a person's kidney function gets to this point, dialysis is pertinent. She's in the "chronically active searching" mode. She has been on the long painful road of dialysis. We do love to help, support & educate those going through this though this themselves as well.

Through living donation, a healthy person can donate one of their Kidney's while they are still living! Living donors also allow those in need to circumvent the need for dialysis, (which can be extremely hard on the body). Kidneys from living donors also offer a number of superior benefits, from greater success rates to nearly double the years of function.

Living Donors not only help those in need to get a healthy "living" kidney (when they need one); they also prevent those in need from getting sicker . . . or even dying, while they wait. I believe that "living" donors are the "energizer bunnies" of human kindness, as their donation keeps on giving a "daily dose" of life!! My hope is for my wife to be able to receive a Kidney Transplant before she had to start dialysis, but that was not possible with the waiting list very long & her kidneys gave out too soon. Currently, she's on the Transplant List, sadly, we've been told the wait for a deceased donor is 7+ years and a kidney from a living donor lasts twice as long as one from a deceased donor. And while she thought she was already doing her part by declaring her intentions to be an organ donor (on the back of her driver's license), I now see our nation's organ shortage cannot rely on deceased donation alone.

"She needs a new kidney, and we hope you, will consider being tested to be a donor."

I know this is a big request & it extremely hard to ask this of you. But I make it on behalf of my wife, one who devotes every day of her life to making a difference to our family and friends. Would you PLEASE consider giving the Gift of Love and hope by being tested? There is absolutely NO expense or obligation for a potential donor. If you or someone you know is willing to take this first step toward saving her life, please contact me, at the below numbers. If you would like to learn more about living kidney donation, please feel free to call me. I want to be as helpful as possible. You could also call my transplant coordinator, (Melissa Drummond) at (1-800.223.2273 ext. 46996 at CCH) and have a confidential conversation and get answers to any questions they have. At first, you don't even have to disclose who they are interested in helping, just that it is one of Melissa's patients.) If you decide to be tested to see if you’re a match please call her living donor’s coordinator's office at (800.223.2273 ext. 53150) to schedule testing at absolutely NO cost to you.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I am asking everyone that reads this letter to copy, paste, make copies, and share these pages, whatever it takes! We're ready to get the ball rolling. Please Share this letter & SPREAD THE WORD. If there are any questions I can answer about Kidney donation for you, or anyone, I would be very happy to talk! Again your help would be deeply appreciated. Her life desperately depends on finding that caring individual who is willing to donate a kidney. With your help, I know she can find that special person. I welcome all questions, comments, ideas or good wishes. Living my life with kidney disease and transplant is a never-ending life. The fight to get more people to listen and open their eyes to the importance of organ donation only grows bigger. Could you imagine your life depending on a machine to live!?!? Watching your blood be filtered out of your body through a machine and back in clean of all toxics. That is my life for almost 3 years now. Imagine living day to day in sickness, pain, fatigue. The living donor can live anywhere. Please consider to be a donor if you can & if you can't you can help out in other ways such as idea's listed on my "Ways to Help “Page in my website, by sharing to get the word out reading There are a lot of other ways you can help if you can't be a donor. I also have a Fundraiser Campaign for those who can't (due to major medical issues) be a donor, they can donate to my fundraiser. My husband & I's insurance (transplant recipient's) insurance will NOT cover the cost of gas, possible airfare, food or lodging during evaluation, etc. - room and board, and other expenses will be covered by Debbie's fundraising campaign with gofundme.com. PLEASE HAVE A HEART & HELP OUT IN SOME WAY!

Heartfelt thanks!
Michael & Debra Fette
E-mail – debbie_arbogast@yahoo.com 
Phone/Cell -- ( 234-228-9686 or 330-951-5438